In for a penny....

So tomorrow is the big day - or night. Cliched Fling - the rematch. The last few days have seen text messages flying back and forth, winding us each up to fever-pitch. He has promised to remove my knickers with his teeth and tongue; I have promised to let him.

Unfortunately, due to a delay in my booking, his hotel was full. And so was the cheap one down the road that you pay for in advance.... so I'm just staying in his room. All night. Gulp. Does he snore? Who knows? Its rather alarming that I have effectively no escape other than the car - I wonder if I should stick a blanket in the boot in case of emergency? This episode might destroy my air of mystery - your secret lover is supposed to be spared the sight of you farting and picking your nose in the morning.

And of course its all a bit intimate. I said that I was more nervous this time - the anticipation is no longer hypothetical, but very real. He said that he hadn't expected to advance to staying all night so quickly...I gave him the option to postpone, but he didn't take me up on it. Mind you, my foot was caressing his balls under his desk at the time.

Much more worryingly, he is lining up other dates, occasions - next month and when he returns from holiday. Whoa nelly! I want to be able to extricate myself from this affair with dignity and grace - I don't want to become the subject of office gossip, I don't want to get emotionally involved and I don't want to be around if his marriage goes tits up. I may have to have a serious chat with him tomorrow, and point out that his wife WILL know something is going on. Just because she hasn't got the hard evidence won't stop her antennae twitching and that is going to have an effect. He would do himself a favour if he took the opportunity of the holiday to start again.... but what do I know about his marriage? For all I know, they have an "arrangement", but then again I don't think so. However, my timing isn't great for mentioning all this - Yes, listen to me, do the sensible thing and throw me out of your hotel room to sleep in the car!

So, once is an accident, twice is a fling, three times is an affair? But perhaps there's room in the scale for dalliance & liaison... and I am sick of doing what I should do instead of what I want to do. I'm reasonably clear what I'm getting out of this: exciting sex, an ego stroke, a mental re-alignment of the power balance with K and an indulgence of my wild streak, in descending order. Him? I expect he's bored indoors, his wife has other interests, he's had/having a major birthday or anniversary and perhaps a health scare that has highlighted his encroaching mortality - a rage against the fading of the light? I'm guessing, but as building the kit car hasn't assuaged his midlife crisis, a sleazy affair is the obvious next step.

This year really does have disaster written all over it, doesn't it.