I am a woman in charge - in charge of myself, my space, my sexuality, my time, my attention, my body. Power displayed by men is purportedly an aphrodisiac for women - but I never really grasped my own power over men before. This year has been astonishing, I am newly aware of lines of men desparate to sleep with me. It's amusing, it's astonishing.
I could have them all, I need none of them, I may choose some of them. Casual cruelty could come as easily as warm affection. Why didn't I realise the extent of my power 20 years ago? But perhaps I didn't have it then - time, experience, wrinkles and carefreeness of survival pipping the carelessness of youth and naivity.
My lover jumps when I walk into the office - he finds excuses to talk, to touch, to smell me. He is distracted, infatuated, overwhelmed with lust. And I smile, safe in my power, enjoying every single minute. If we meet this week, excellent. If not, it will wait. I can wait.
Monday 17 March 2008
Power
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3 comments:
I've wondered the same thing. I think I was so busy seeing myself affected by other people, I never noticed that I might be capable of provoking a similar response, and only ever saw it in retrospect, normally after I'd irrevocably screwed up the relationship.
Many women can have that power over men if they only realise it.
Can men exercise the same power over women? A far, far lower proportion, I suspect.
I could put forward a couple of theories to explain why but you already know the truth so why bother?
*sigh* we are such feeble creatures ;^)
So many women don't realize the power they have just by the virtue of their sex. I didn't realize it at the time, but I was fortunate enough to have a mother who taught me at an early age just how powerful a woman can be. Unfortunately, she died before she warned me to not just give it away willy-nilly. THAT lesson took quite a few years and the proverbial anvil over the head to sink in.
I've just begun reading your pages. I love what I see and am feeling a kinship already!!
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