Hmm, so this situation with S. We have set a date, I kid you not. 2 weeks time. So I have a fortnight to try and work out how to make sure he has a good time & I don't traumatise him for life. I've warned him that the first time with anyone new (regardless of how experienced both parties are) has a high potential to be anywhere from rubbish to at best improvable. I've also said that I reckoned the main aims were to be comfortable, leave smiling and not feel like life wasn't ever going to get better. Full sex may or may not be a part of that. I've mentioned that overexcitement is to be expected and is no bad thing, as the next time a couple of hours later will be slower. I've said that even if he isn't expecting it, stage fright can creep up - everyone has experienced condom wilt, but hey, at least he'll be giving it a go. God i've talked this down!
I've laid down that affection and laughter are part of the deal - I'm not a pro doing it for money, and what I get out of it is knowing that he will always remember his first time - I hope with a smile. So to all the guys out there, how would you have wanted your first time to go?
Sunday 14 September 2008
Advice?
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3 comments:
Oh excellent!
I still can hardly talk about my first time, it was dismal. I was about 16 and my dick simply would not stand up. The young lady had been my girlfriend for at least six months, so we knew each other well, but she was also very nervous. I knew nothing of foreplay. After rubbing my limp dick in the general vicinity of her vulva for a few minutes, hoping that lightning would strike, she had a change of heart and said to me (I'm not kidding) "You're disgusting! Get off me!"
There's a mighty long list of things that should have gone differently, including foreplay and laughter, and more realistic expectations of how the whole thing was going to work.
S, as inexperienced as he evidently is, should still romance you. And I think it will do you both good if the romancing takes place more or less continuously over the next two weeks. Cards, notes, text messages, emails, flowers, chocolate. Make him step up and be a man!
Good idea Riff Dog. If we go for it, I'll definitely stress that from the woman's point of view, the actual 'final event' as men might consider it, can be a bit of an afterthought!
Yes, give him a "g spot" lesson. That's pretty much the first thing that Tiggy showed me (Jesus, how did I fuckin' not know this?!) and it definitely enhanced our entire relationship.
If he knows he can pleasure you, he will feel so much better, and he will be more excited.
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